Tennessee
The owner of a golf course was
confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some
mathematical help. He called her into
his office and said, “You graduated from the University of Tennessee and I need
some help. If I were to give you
$20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?”
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, “Everything but my earrings.”
Alabama
A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired
off in twos for the day. That night, one
of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point
buck. “Where's Henry?” the others asked. “'Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail,” the
successful hunter replied.
“You left Henry laying out there and carried the
deer back?” they inquired.
“A tough call,” nodded the hunter. “But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!”
Texas
The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading
garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, “Why are you
dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head'?”
“Yep”, he replied. “That's why I’m dumpin it here, cause it says
'Fine For Dumping Garbage'.
Louisiana
A senior at LSU was overheard saying... “When the
end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana.'” When asked why, he replied he'd rather be in
Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the
rest of the civilized world.
Mississippi
The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to
his buddy, “Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!”
Bubba replied, “Did you see who it was?”
The young man answered, “I couldn't tell, but I got his license number.”
Georgia
A Georgia State trooper
pulled over a pickup on I- 75. The
trooper asked, “Got any I.D.?”
The driver replied, “Bout whut?”
North Carolina
A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off
on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of
the car and one behind it. Then
he got back in the car to wait. A
passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around
and went back. He asked the fellow what
the problem was.
The man replied, “I have a flat tire.”
The passerby asked, “But what's with the flowers?”
The man responded, “When you break down they tell
you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. Hey, it don't make
no sense to me neither.”
And this from South Carolina
'You can say what you want about the South, but I
ain't never heard of anyone wanting to retire to the North.
